<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[So Can You]]></title><description><![CDATA[So Can You]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/blog</link><generator>RSS for Node</generator><lastBuildDate>Sun, 01 Nov 2026 06:32:24 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/blog-feed.xml" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><item><title><![CDATA[Chronic Stress and Anxiety? You may be struggling with your differentiation of self]]></title><description><![CDATA[In this age of self-discovery, we are just starting to understand how social skills and ways of adjusting are passed down from one...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/chronic-stress-and-anxiety-you-may-be-struggling-with-your-differentiation-of-self</link><guid isPermaLink="false">66b4f987e39fd8c43bc345ad</guid><pubDate>Thu, 08 Aug 2024 17:03:23 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/9e01b03843db47b5950430f4cc41adc8.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Soulmate or Nightmare: How toxic people use the soulmate concept]]></title><description><![CDATA[This post cites Christian principles…but it can apply to anyone who sees the wisdom in its lesson. The idea of the “soulmate” is that you...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/soulmate-or-nightmare-how-toxic-people-use-the-soulmate-concept</link><guid isPermaLink="false">669803af10140da4062051d5</guid><pubDate>Thu, 18 Jul 2024 22:02:28 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/35906c_145195d017584e46ad050ad39d51f687~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Art of Being Miserable]]></title><description><![CDATA[...suffering is an art form, and the satisfaction people appear to derive from it reflects the creative effort required to nurture it ]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/the-art-of-being-miserable</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6670411e45e965c548f32b3e</guid><pubDate>Tue, 18 Jun 2024 20:18:47 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/35906c_b0adac75174e48d4951a1f518d91a00e~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_750,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Open Letter to the Old Crazy Ex from the New Crazy Ex]]></title><description><![CDATA[The first time I met you I already despised you. Why? You hadn't done anything to me. This was because I was coerced into believing...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/open-letter-to-the-old-crazy-ex-from-the-new-crazy-ex</link><guid isPermaLink="false">664b6779fb1c3546729f2be3</guid><pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2024 15:28:14 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/11062b_d995b49e086341c8ae29e38b518f8690~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Unveiling the Misconceptions Behind Marriage: How Our Perceptions Impact Relationships]]></title><description><![CDATA[When people first start dating, they tend to hide, minimize, or dismiss their differences since falling in love represents the myth of...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/unveiling-the-misconceptions-behind-marriage-how-our-perceptions-impact-relationships</link><guid isPermaLink="false">66451db073139d49efdbb9cc</guid><pubDate>Wed, 15 May 2024 20:45:46 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/11062b_aa7d176e954449afa01c1db1f7643501~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Smear Campaigns and How to Survive One]]></title><description><![CDATA[So you’ve decided to set some boundaries with toxic people in your life. Perhaps you’ve gone as far as having to cut ties with someone. I...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/smear-campaigns-and-how-to-survive-one</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6632afca8034991ac808c9e0</guid><pubDate>Wed, 01 May 2024 22:06:17 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/a3aaaf7d43e04daf9bc9126cb9f1bb69.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Abusers and Sexually Predatory Behavior in Relationships]]></title><description><![CDATA[When it comes to relationships and sex the dynamics can get incredibly complicated. Perhaps it is because we are prone to more rapid...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/abusers-and-sexually-predatory-behavior-in-relationships</link><guid isPermaLink="false">65e4b66797b8415a432282f5</guid><pubDate>Tue, 05 Mar 2024 17:14:36 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/35906c_e93d9e982105460d87e9f178c1309af9~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_645,h_483,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Narcissism and the Dunning-Kruger Effect]]></title><description><![CDATA[In the field of human behavior studies, few topics are as intriguing as narcissism. Being on this site in the first place is a good...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/narcissism-and-the-dunning-kruger-effect</link><guid isPermaLink="false">65aef320ac3057620e5f5e8f</guid><pubDate>Mon, 22 Jan 2024 23:04:31 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/35906c_b473c585b0b3439f826c4764702e8d9f~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_832,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Can Payback and Justice be Interchangeable?]]></title><description><![CDATA[When we feel we've been wronged and seeing red, it can seem that getting revenge for what's happened to us is justified. Even if we would...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/can-payback-and-justice-be-interchangeable</link><guid isPermaLink="false">653168393158b59a6486d691</guid><pubDate>Thu, 19 Oct 2023 23:38:20 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/11062b_ab3cd592538c4caf99b6b8e52d1b507a~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[How is happiness possible after being broken?]]></title><description><![CDATA[Fear is an effective motivator. It can make you go back out into the freezing cold to make sure your car is locked or it can make you...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/how-is-happiness-possible-after-being-broken</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6043ef3b5ab7700015ca0b63</guid><pubDate>Wed, 21 Jun 2023 00:44:29 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/35906c_5966a7bedf3c4f39bd59224ee251ecb9~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_640,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Control in Abusive Relationships ]]></title><description><![CDATA[People’s ability to exercise control over themselves and others to produce desired results is essential for an individual’s well-being....]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/control-in-abusive-relationships</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6476775297004c5c08de9ba3</guid><pubDate>Sat, 10 Jun 2023 00:35:11 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/35906c_61d5ed68959b445490507672c405c162~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_560,h_373,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Starting Over: Adults with Childhood Sexual Trauma]]></title><description><![CDATA[Those who've endured sexual trauma in childhood are accustomed to living with it in some way or another. The awareness of its effects can...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/starting-over-adults-with-childhood-sexual-trauma</link><guid isPermaLink="false">646d2a01cd93193fe1bc6da1</guid><pubDate>Tue, 23 May 2023 22:27:55 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/35906c_b993bbeddc574e14a7c1921b88a3380a~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_640,h_427,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Spotting Reverse Blame Manipulation]]></title><description><![CDATA[One of my favorite games of all time is UNO. The basic rules of getting rid of your cards are used frequently in card games but UNO adds...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/the-manipulation-trap</link><guid isPermaLink="false">645d4404a9e837535ce3185a</guid><pubDate>Thu, 11 May 2023 19:37:40 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/35906c_6c2dfc95a09d4e4d877654899f4e1dc2~mv2.jpeg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_619,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Intimacy Is Not What Society Thinks It Is]]></title><description><![CDATA[Human beings crave intimacy innately. It is one of the greatest ways people can express love. It’s what we want most in our romantic...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/intimacy-is-not-what-society-thinks-it-is</link><guid isPermaLink="false">645551ec8e37cdb96016c4d0</guid><pubDate>Fri, 05 May 2023 19:43:23 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/35906c_b65061ef4b1c463a9ec3abc85df5abe3~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[   Being a Victim is not an insult]]></title><description><![CDATA[There are countless articles on the internet talking about the "victim mentality" and touting "Survivor not Victim", and while I get that...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/being-a-victim-is-not-an-insult</link><guid isPermaLink="false">644cff5fa675c0b45225cc56</guid><pubDate>Mon, 01 May 2023 00:16:01 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/35906c_12f52235cc2c47239a69c4b9f9444bae~mv2.jpeg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_599,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Why We Suck At Setting Boundaries and What To Do About It]]></title><description><![CDATA[I have lots of lists in this entry. Good ones though! Let's get going... Boundaries are Limits Have you ever found yourself going along...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/why-we-suck-at-setting-boundaries</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6440124c2573cb51c88a4d8c</guid><pubDate>Wed, 19 Apr 2023 16:09:48 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/35906c_9585bce822da4794933acf44e5461f45~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_638,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[When Healing Looks Like Depression]]></title><description><![CDATA[Last week I discussed what trauma drive was and how it affects our ability to be productive while enduring abuse. Once away from the...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/when-healing-looks-like-depression</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6424a05a7ff0bc11cbf0ee42</guid><pubDate>Sat, 15 Apr 2023 18:52:31 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/35906c_1fb41d282cf04864b8c9abd91130ab8e~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_628,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Anger That Comes With Betrayal]]></title><description><![CDATA[This next entry was supposed to be about the Restful Healing stage of trauma recovery but this was on my heart. Especially because the...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/the-anger-that-comes-with-betrayal</link><guid isPermaLink="false">643046e4c50c6a3ca5a178a8</guid><pubDate>Fri, 07 Apr 2023 19:58:32 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/35906c_c62a4fe8e25742d6a8585aa343cfb7bf~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_500,h_500,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Trauma Drive and Finding Authentic Self]]></title><description><![CDATA[This entry was the most challenging thus far. I've had to face some realizations I wasn't quite ready for. When I was thirty-three I was...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/trauma-drive-and-finding-authentic-self</link><guid isPermaLink="false">64248ea0cbe2cce3292a1e6d</guid><pubDate>Wed, 05 Apr 2023 01:32:22 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/35906c_89541f81c224436888b045277415c853~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_800,h_500,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA["I want to remember, but I can't"]]></title><description><![CDATA[When in trauma recovery interesting phenomena can take place. People can stay hypervigilant for years after the events. They wonder why...]]></description><link>https://deborahfrankenfiel.wixsite.com/socanyou/post/i-want-to-remember-but-i-can-t</link><guid isPermaLink="false">640128c7521001fb33b1ece0</guid><pubDate>Wed, 22 Mar 2023 23:06:08 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/35906c_0df603faeea24e8fb66e6096ec245eb9~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_563,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Deborah (Admin)</dc:creator></item></channel></rss>