How is happiness possible after being broken?

Fear is an effective motivator. It can make you go back out into the freezing cold to make sure your car is locked or it can make you take your preparation for a public speaking appearance more seriously. Fear has a productive purpose in our lives. Some applications, however, aren't so healthy. Those with high anxiety know this too well because fear is a constant companion. And that anxiety is stealing our joy. We desire to be happier. However, studies focusing on human happiness show that the more we pursue it, the less happy we become. Researchers came to the conclusion that if happiness is like the sun, we can't look directly at it. We must look at its elements.

The underlying causes of our anxiety must be dealt with, and we are most likely doing that during our search for self-improvement in one way or another. Take a moment to consider that this can also have a dual use. While we are healing from our trauma, we can take the opportunity to adopt practices that we hadn't learned growing up. Specifically, I want to put the spotlight on Post Traumatic Growth.

Trauma causes a 'psychological fault line' dividing the past self before the trauma and the one after. Effectively becoming a turning point in life. The time that it takes to process this is immeasurable. But there are markers or 'catalysts' that cause the changes that move us in stronger directions. We are, in essence, shattered vases that need only the suitable glue, the elements I mentioned earlier.

Post Traumatic Growth (PTG) was developed in the 1990s by Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun. PTG explains the positive psychological change due to a struggle with a traumatic event or life crisis. It may display itself through gaining a greater appreciation for life, relating to others more, making an existential or spiritual change, having an increased sense of personal strength, or realizing new possibilities in life.

After experiencing adversity, individuals may have the capacity to learn from the event and reshape the way that they perceive themselves, their lives, and their world. This is not to say that what happened to them was a positive experience. The traumatic event only opened the door. They choose positive change despite the card they were dealt.

These are concepts that people without significant trauma can still relate to. For example, after losing a loved one, someone may realize that their relationships with others are more important than they previously understood. Therefore, building stronger bonds with family and friends ultimately increases their level of social support, allowing for safety and security during uncertain times in the future.

So, my compadres, the psychological struggle caused by our shattered beliefs and/or worldview CAN result in transformative change. We have an opportunity here to make lemonade with this. It gives me hope.